Afraid To Fall
by Lady Venom2
Summary: Things have come to light, and are working out for Raphael and Donatello. But now, Leonardo is feeling left out and confused, and Mikey's trying to cope with Leo knowing his innermost secrets about the eldest turtle...
1. Chapter 1

**Afraid To Fall**

Note: I don't own the turtles, Eastman and Laird do, and a couple others I think. The plot is mine. I do hope you enjoy it. This story is slash. So be warned! The first two chapters aren't really slash-y...just leading up to it. So! Rated as such for basic language and innuendo's. I do hope you enjoy!

* * *

Sure, things were always easier for them. Leonardo could just practice, practice and practice some more. Sometimes Donatello figured Leo would practice until he collapsed from exhaustion if he could. Then there was Raphael, who in himself was more of an enigma than the latest software he was trying to create. The most hot-headed of the family would go topside, to do in a sense much what Leo did in the dojo. He would practice, but not on a heavy-weight bag. But on flesh and bone, feeling more satisfied at the sight and sound of bones breaking, people screaming. They looked at him like a monster, a freak, and he played the part to his advantage.

Then, there was Michelangelo; he was always striving to keep everyone happy. It was as if, if he couldn't make everyone laugh just a little each day, that the world would come crashing down and the family would break apart. He had to be on the center of the stage, make people focus on him make them laugh, make them happy. But sometimes; when he would hear his brother cry out at night. He knew that it wasn't them he was trying to make laugh, but himself. Laughter, Don quickly discovered, kept more than angry words at bay for Mikey.

And him? What did he have? He had his computers, his virtual world. A place where he could actually claim to be what he was and people wouldn't shun him. Some thought him weird, but others. Others thought he was lying, and would go along with it, that they were talking to a giant mutant turtle. Some had even proposed meeting him, but he knew better. Fake reality was all fine and good when it came to talking to someone via a screen and typed words, but it was another thing altogether to see them in the flesh. Some realities were better left to the imagination.

Sometimes, he would sit in his room, and wonder. Wonder exactly where he fit into the equation. He could never find anything to talk about with Leo. Mikey and he got along fine when they were playing a new game Don had downloaded, or chatting about comics of some sort. Raphael only ever talked to him late at night, when his brother was at his sloppiest. His breath smelling of beer, his body reeking of some unknown woman's perfume. He was ever the only one up that late, and sometimes, he hated it.

Leo would come to him in the mornings that he suspected Raph to have gone out the night before. Asking to know all the details that he could, knowing that Raphael was not suppose to have gone out at all. It was nights like those, that Donatello would switch his lights off, pause what he was doing on the computer to turn off the screen. And he would sit in his chair, holding his breath, hoping that his brother wouldn't hear him. Didn't catch on that the lights had been on only a second earlier.

He knew that he really didn't have any rational reasoning behind this. Except for that one small factor that constantly nagged at him. The one in the back of his head that always made him weary around his older brother. He had bore witness to Raphael's wrath on more than one occasion. And had watched Leo bear the brunt of the worst of it. He hated to admit it to himself, but his brother had always frightened him. He knew that the red masked turtle was stronger than him. Knew that he could take him down in a fight.  
These thoughts were ones that ran through Donatello's mind late at night. When the sounds of heavy footfalls permeated the still lair; he would switch of his light, he knew his paranoia was unwarranted. But that never stopped it from raising goose bumps on his arms. He never wanted to be the one that Raph would come to in a foul mood, looking for tension release. He wouldn't be his brother's punching bag. That was their leader's job. So, late at night, the lights were cut off, and the screens glared brightly in the after-vision of his eyes long after they were turned off.

He had been doing that for a while now. So it only made sense that sooner or later, he wasn't going to reach the light switch in time. Tonight, had been one of those nights.  
He had been so absorbed in finishing up the last little touch on the lairs new perimeter alarm system, that he hadn't heard the feet stomping around outside. Not until there was a knock on the door.

Donatello swears that his chair still bears the mark of how hard he fell back into it after jumping in surprise.

"Y-yes? Who is it?" _It's three in the morning, Don, who the hell is going to come knocking on your door?  
_  
"It's Raph, you wanna sandwich? I'm makin' myself one."  
_Okay, so that was different. Raph was never usually this nice after a night out, unless--  
_  
"Yea, sure, I'll be out in a sec." Closing down the programs he was using. Don shut down most of his computers. Leaving only two of the main security monitoring ones online. He stretched, popping his shoulders and knuckles.

Making his way into the kitchen, he spotted Raph seated at the table, a large, messy sandwich in one hand, a beer in the other. When Don walked by him, it wasn't just perfume he smelt on his brother this time, but the undeniable odour of sex. Don nodded as he opened the fridge door.

So that was why he was in such a good mood, he finally got laid. Maybe this time, the good mood will carry over for more than a few hours like last time. Don hoped, silently pleading with any deity that would listen to a nineteen year old mutant turtle.

Grabbing what was needed, he put together a quick little sandwich. He was actually glad the Raphael had suggested it; he often forgot to eat when working. And just now, his stomach felt like it was eating its own flesh he was so hungry. He moved over to the table, sitting opposite of his brother, and took a large bite of the sandwich, eyes avoiding Raph.

"So, what're ya workin' on?" Raph asked, watching with a bemused expression on his normally scowled face as Don devoured his small meal.

Donatello was about to reply, but held a finger up, keeping it there as a 'hold on' expression until he swallowed the large amount of bread and deli meats in his mouth.

"I'm upgrading the lair's security system." He explained, once he swallowed.

Raphael nodded. "So you'll be able to tell when I'm comin' home even sooner, an' be able to shut yer lights off quicker?"

Donatello froze, hazel brown eyes going wide as what he said sank in. "I - uh, I- it's not what you think Raph."

Raphael simply leaned back into his chair, tilting it back to rest on only the last two legs. A knowing look on his face as he crossed him arms.

"Uh huh. And what exactly, brainiac, am I suppose to think? You n' I both know it's me comin' home. I ain't ever bothered ya, not really." He said his face and mind refusing to admit the one night he_had_ bothered Donatello. Intoxicated, and high off of fighting some thugs, he had come home very… well, horny. Donatello had been up fixing himself a snack.

It was the first time Raphael had ever hit on one of his brothers. But he had, and he had to Donny, the only one he really thought might reciprocate. He hadn't. Raphael pissed at being turned down, left to his room. Neither had really spoken about that one night.

Raph knew, or at least surmised, that his brother had figured Raph was too drunk to remember that night. The touches on his arm, the words he had whispered to his genius brother. The sudden kiss and quick rejection. It was never good to come down off a happy high with a crash, and Raph had not only crashed, he burned.

Although he was frightened to admit it, Donatello had thought about that night quite often. He had enjoyed it, the kiss and the attention that Raphael had lavished on him. Even if it had been for a quick fix. But he could never do that, it would be wrong on so many levels. No matter how much his body had a desire for something; his logics would always win out.

"Listen Raph...I just, never know what kind of mood you might be in, and well... I'd rather be left alone when working." Don said, staring at a stain on the wooden table.

"Jeez, Don...don't you ever get tired of sitting in dere with them cold machines? I mean, sure, they're probably more interestin' than us, but...doncha ever get lonely?"

Donatello shrugged. "Well, don't you? Always up there, by yourself. Bashing peoples skulls around. That's not exactly a social gathering you go to every night." He scoffed.

"Yer right, it ain't. And yea, I do, if ya wanna know the truth." Raph reached out to take a gulp of his beer.

Talking like this was all fine and good, and the buzz he had on was nice and relaxing, he didn't want to lose it. He knew that the moment he did, the conversation would be over. And the pair of them would go back to being the brain and the brawns of the family.

Donatello finally looked up at Raph, shocked by the truthful answer.

"Yea, I said it. Big fuckin' deal."

"Why are you telling me this?" Don said, swallowing the lump that was forming in his throat.

Raph shook his head, downing the last of the beer. "Christ, you just don't get it do ya? For a brainiac, ya sure do have yer stupid moments, ya know that?" Raphael stared at him quietly for a moment.

Raph stood, shaking his head. "Listen Donny, I'm gonna go hit the hay." He threw out the bottle and made his way towards the exit, pausing long enough to sigh at the doorway.

"Donny, you remember that night, when I first knocked on yer door all those weeks ago?"

Donatello swallowed, eyes boring into the stain again. "Yes."

Raph nodded. "Yea, so do I." And left.


	2. Willing To Wait

He looked down at the busy street beneath him. His eyes had been watching this one shifty kid for a while now. He had been weaving in and out of the alley ways for the last hour, and Raphael had a suspicion that it wasn't because he was lost. There was no one nearby for the kid to attack, so he let his mind drift.

How long had it been since that one night in the kitchen? One week, two? Had it only been two weeks? He shook his head, unable to believe that such a short time had passed since his conversation with Donatello. But, it must have. He still wasn't sure where his brother stood on the confession that he had divulged. He had a feeling that neither of them really did. But he noticed that Donny's light stayed on a little bit longer at night.

On those nights, Raph wanted to go to him, but he wasn't sure how his brother would react to him. Sure, they acted as normal as could be when around the others. But, when they were alone? That was another matter. Donny became distant, and even scarcer than before. It hurt, and Raphael often wondered if he had ruined the thin bond that had held them together as brothers before.

There was a sudden sound of scuffling and muffled screams that brought the turtle back to the present. His fingers still gripped the edge of the building. Looking down, he saw the kid had cornered a woman who was refusing to let go of her purse. He didn't like that too much it seemed.

Letting go of the building, he backed up before running and jumping off the building, falling fifteen feet before he grabbed the edge of an escape ladder. Slowing down his momentum, he pushed off of that and landed easily on his feet after the last ten foot drop. Both the woman and her mugger stopped at the sound of him. He stood tall, or at least, as tall as a five foot two mutant turtle could.

The kid thinking this was his opportunity to show what a man he was, let go of the woman. He smacked her face, yelling at her. Turning back to Raph, the kid grinned in what was probably supposed to be frightening. Raphael just used the split second to haul off and punch him. He heard the sickening pop as his fist connected with the kids jaw. And the way his mouth hung slightly open, he knew he had broken something.

"C'mon, ya can smack around a woman, but ya can't even fight like a man wit' me?"

The kid tried to say something, but all that came out was; "Y'r s'nt a m'n."

"What?"

"F'rk!" Came the mumbled shout.

Raphael hauled off to punch him again, only to be disappointed as he turned tail and fled. Raph felt adrenaline pumping through his veins as he slunk back into the alley's shadows. He searched in vain to find something to release his aggression. But all he found seemed only to feed the fire. 

As Raphael entered the lair, he couldn't help but continue to mutter curses to himself. The night had not gone well. He needed a good fight. He looked over to Donny's door, and was glad to see the light still on. Making his way over, he paused just outside the door, contemplating if it was a good idea to even suggest a sparring match between them. His question was soon answered as the door swung open, and he came face to face with an angry Donatello.

"Whatever you want Raph, I don't have time for it right now. Five days worth of work was just deleted on my computer by a virus." Don muttered a curse under his breath and stalked over to the kitchen. Leaving Raph behind him, pausing in a moment's stupor.

"Hey Donny," Raph called out lowly, careful not to wake Mikey who slept on the first floor. He moved into the kitchen, watching his brother put a pot of water in the kettle for a cup of tea.

"Yea?"

Raph motioned towards the dojo, his own frustration still seething beneath the surface at the shock at seeing Donatello so angry.

He paused, wondering if it was such a good idea to spar with his brother. He needed to think, to asses the damages the virus had done to his software._ Oh…screw it. _

Don nodded and removed the kettle, turning off the burner to follow his brother. He picked up his Bo staff, watching Raphael remove the Sais still tucked into his belt. He took up a defensive stance as Raphael advanced.

Raphael took in his brother, looking him over. He really was tense, he could tell. Just certain things a person knows after years of living together.

_nuff of this pacin' shit._ Raph gave a low growl and charged, Sais drawn and raised. Donatello deflected the blow, knocking Raphael's hands aside, but not disarming him. He waited for Raph to catch his balance before taking the stance again. He was never one to charge first. He would wait, analyze his opponent, look for a weakness, then attack. If that didn't work out, he would tire them down.

Raphael it seemed was hell bent on the latter tactic. Jumping aside, Donny watched Raph skid to a stop from his head long charge.

"GODDAMMIT!" He shouted, looking over at Donatello. "Will you at least TRY to attack me?"

Don sighed, frustration draining away. The spar was having an adverse affect on his red-banded brother. It was making him all the angrier.

"Or are ya just still too chicken shit ya can't even touch yer own brother now." Raph sneered.

Donatello stared wide eyed across the room at his brother, as the turtle began to circle him.

"Ya heard me. Worried I might touch ya? Make you actually 'like' it?"

"Shut up Raph." Don said voice low with warning. He gripped his Bo tighter. _What is he up to?_ His eyes followed Raphael's every move, worried of where the next blow might come from.

"Jus' what I thought, the hottest chick in the world could waltz right by ya, I bet, and you wouldn't even second glance at 'er… Least, not unless she had some wires hangin' outta 'er… He chuckled. "Or is it guy's yer inta...?"

"Shove it, Raph...just, shut up." He could feel his usual calm demeanour falling away at the mental barrage.

Raphael watched his brother's whole body begin to tremble, and struck. He charged without warning towards Don. His sai's locked with the wood of Dons Bo, he dislodged it from his three fingered hand. Don stood there, hands in front of him, mouth gaping. Slowly, Raph advanced, and Don back peddled until he hit a wall. His hands moved behind him as if searching for some invisible escape door.

Finding none, he just stared in fright up at Raph.

"Why you so afraid of me Don? I ain't ever hurt you...honest." They both knew it to be true, all barbs and jokes aside. Raph was the most loyal person Don knew. Despite his usual cockiness, he was always there. So, why then, did he feel like his whole body was on vibrate at being this close to Raphael?

"Raph...I..." He tried, but the words died in his throat.

A green hand moved up his side, to lie against his neck lightly. Easy enough to push off, but he didn't. He couldn't look away from Raph's eyes. They were filled with lust. Don still couldn't wrap his head around the fact that the look was meant for him.

"I ain't gonna ask you again, Donny..." Raphael's voice had grown husky with their close proximity.

"I-I think I'm afraid of... of what might happen if we ever...you know." Don had a bashful look on his face, and he turned his head away, staring at the floor.

"What do ya think would happen?" Raphael asked, not moving. "Ain't nothin' gonna change..." He moved in closer, his breathing shallow now.

"I-"

Don never finished the sentence as warm lips connected with his own. Hazel eyes widened in shock at the kiss. His whole body wanted to rebel at the touch, but he couldn't find it in him to listen to the command. Instead, he felt his hands winding around Raph's head to pull him in closer, deepening the kiss.

He could feel Raphael's hands on his body. They moved lower, and he broke the kiss, looking up with renewed terror at his brother. Raphael stared back at him, lust diminishing at Don's fear.

He nodded, and pulled back.

"I swear to ya Donny, I won't ever do, what ya don't want me ta do."

And Donatello knew that he meant it. 


	3. Troubleshooting Love

SunSpotGirlsays_: I haven't talked with you in a while Don, is everything going okay? _

_You're job hasn't driven you over the edge yet has it?_

TechieTurtle says: _Nope. I haven't worked at that place for the last little bit, thank _

_goodness. I've just had other things on my brain._

SunSpotGirl says: _Well, you know you can talk to me about it. We might live miles_

_apart. But that doesn't mean I don't want to help now and again._

_So, c'mon 'TechieTurtle', spill the beans. ___

TechieTurtle says: _Things have gotten a little hectic here at home. That's all, and well, _

_I'm not sure how to deal with a certain someone. He just kind of, threw _

_me for a loop the other night._

SunSpotGirl says: _Oh? One of your brothers? Or some one new? winks Should I be _

_jealous oh smart one?_

TechieTurtle says: _What? No…you shouldn't be…what? Nevermind…chuckles And_

_Yes, one of my brothers is acting not the norm for him. And it is_

_a tad disconcerting._

SunSpotGirl_ says: Don't worry, I'm sure you'll figure this out. Maybe he's just finally _

_ready to show you a different side of himself. Is it the one that went_

_away for those two years? Or the one that never talks to you anymore?_

_If it's one of those two, then the fact of the matter might be, that they've_

_grown in ways you weren't ready to deal with. And now they think you're _

_ready? shrugs But hey, I'm just the Canadian chick, what do I know? _

TechieTurtle says: _Don't be so hard on yourself, you know more than I do at the _

_moment, I'm sure of it. I've got to get going. I'll see you tomorrow_

_night then. Take care, and be careful of those wolverines!_

SunSpotGirl says: _One time, that happened once! pouts Oy, you never forget a single_

_thing, do you? laughs alright, take care!_

_SunSpotGirl is now offline._

* * *

Donatello closed down the private chat-room window with a sigh. Maybe she was right, that while everyone else had been out above ground learning, growing and becoming older, he was still right here. The same as always, in front of his computer, working on this or that. He was content to be in front of his computers, not travelling the world to better himself. Or seeing the sun everyday like Mikey desired, even if it meant coming home with a new black and blue each day. Nor was he like Raphael, desiring to cruising around the city on a motorcycle he helped him fix, in order to fight crime on his own.

He was happiest, right here. And there wasn't anything wrong with that, was there? What more did a guy need?

Feelings of phantom kisses grazed his mouth as he remembered a few nights back in the dojo with his brother caused him to pause.

What more indeed….

With an aggravated sigh, Donatello flung his arms behind him and laid back against his swivel chair. Moving it side to side, the motion helping him think. _What does he expect me to do? Honestly? He can't expect this to last. It's not like I'm Leo or something…oh god did I just say that? Uhnnn... this isn't, I mean…GAH!_ Donny rubbed his closed eyes and sighed again. _I wish there was a troubleshoot manual for this._

He heard the faint sound of someone rapping on his door. Opening his eyes, he swivelled around and bade them enter.

He watched as Leonardo stepped into his room, looking over the room once with a look of repulsion at the machines, momentarily upon his features.

"Training starts in a few minutes. I wanted to let you know…" He had his arms crossed, and Donatello knew he didn't mean to look ready for a confrontation, but years of Raphael can do that to a person. Whether they realize it or not.

"Yea, sure Leo. I'll be right out." Stretching once, he felt his shoulders pop and his back crack right up the spine. He couldn't help but smirk slightly as he heard his brothers click of distaste he always made with his tongue at the sounds.

He stood, the two of them making their way through the empty living area of the lair to the candle-lit dojo awaiting them. Inside already sparring was Michelangelo and Raphael. He watched the two fight while he began his warm up stretches. He could see that both were giving it their all, but they seemed to be at a stale-mate.

He watched them clash weapons again, Mikey catching Raph's sais between the chains of his nunchaku's. His gaze travelled to a spot just past Mikey's left and he felt his body shiver. That was the spot where the red masked turtle had held him, had kissed him. Had promised him patience.

Could that very same turtle now fighting ferociously be the one that had looked at him with actual warmth in his eyes? Donatello shook his head, more confused now than he was earlier in the confines of his room.

His jumbled mind soon came to a halt as he felt a hand on his shoulder. He looked up into the waiting eyes of his elder brother and leader. Today, they would be sparring, and for that, Donny was grateful. He wasn't sure how he'd react to having to spar Raphael, heck, he wasn't sure how Raphael was feeling towards him to begin with!

He took up a stance and waited for Leo to begin, he tried desperately to clear his mind and focus on the here and now of the fight. But it kept slipping back. He barely registered the force of Leo's katana upon his bo staff. His reaction was automatic as he threw him back, back foot digging into the tatami mats on the floor for stability.

Should he talk to Leonardo about this? Would he even want to listen to it? Knowing his brother, he would most likely feel that Don was the victim in whole and double the blame with Raph. And Don couldn't do that to him. He had done nothing to dissuade Raph's advances, despite his confusion.

Another blow sent him skidding, but he remained standing. He caught sight of Leo charging him and dropped to his knees, attempting to knock his feet out from under him. But the other turtle jumped over the sweep of the wooden staff, placing a swift kick to the genius turtle's shoulder, causing him to fall to the side, hard. He hit the wall and laid there, momentarily dazed.

He felt the sharp tip of a sword pressed against the tip of his beak. He knew he had lost, and was going to pay for his unfocused attention in later training sessions dearly. He could faintly hear someone yelling at his brother as the tip mercifully removed itself from his snout.

"Jesus Leo! Give 'im a break! He's probably tired from stayin' up so late! Cut him some slack!"

"He has to learn Raph, just like you do! If I were an enemy, he'd have been dead already! Is that what you want? To lose a brother in battle?"

Was that Raph's voice? He opened his eyes and looked out across the candle-lit expanse of the dojo, sure enough; there was Raphael, nearly beak to beak with their leader. Mikey was at his side, helping him to his feet. Whispering jokes at Leo's expense in his ear to make him no doubt feel better at having his ass handed to him by said turtle.

"I didn't say that Leo, stop puttin' words inta my mouth! I'm just sayin' cut him some slack!" Raphael jabbed a finger into Leo's chest for emphasis.

"Since when have you ever said that we shouldn't practice to our fullest abilities? Or are you just sore because Mikey actually beat you this time?"

Donatello looked over at Michelangelo in shock; the youngest merely gave his megawatt smile and puffed out his chest with pride.

"Dude, I so totally did!"

Raphael looked between the three of them, his eyes lingering only a second on the purple banded turtle before he heaved a growling sigh.

"I'm goin' out."

And for once, Leonardo didn't stop him.

* * *

"My sons, what was that entire racket about?" Asked their father as the three filed into the kitchen for breakfast.

"Nothing sensei, I just had a disagreement with Raph. He went for a run to cool down. He will be back soon, I promise."

Splinter frowned for a moment, processing what Leo had told him. Finally he nodded. "Very well, but I would like to speak with him after supper tonight."

"Yes sensei."

Leo turned around, and looked at the table holding just Mikey. "Where'd Donny go? I want to apologise to him… I probably was going to hard on him."

The youngest paused from his inhaling of the pizza in his hand to shrug. "Iunno, he was here. But he grabbed a drink and then left."

Raising an eyeridge, Leo took off to Donny's room. He knocked a few times without response. Curious, he opened the door to an empty room.

"Don? Hello?" He picked his way across the room's littered floor. Nearly tripping on some invisible wiring. He noticed the computer screens were still on, and one of them held a map of the sewers, and the other held a map of the city. He recognized them as the homing beacon that Don had set up a few years back to track them via their shell cells.

He took note of the map of the city with no luck and turned to the sewers, and sure enough, he could see two faint blips on the screen. He located a soft yellow one, a blue one and an orange one. All within the lair, but at a good distance from here, he located down a few twists and turns of the sewers a red dot moving around in area. Most likely Raphael blowing off steam, Leo surmised. But what surprised him the most was the purple blip quickly closing in on the red one.

"What on earth is Donny up to?" His eyeridges drew together with concern. He wasn't sure what was going on between those two, but he was damn certain to find out.

"Raph? C'mon, I know you're hear somewhere… I tracked you here so there's no use hiding." Donatello called out, his bo staff secured to the back of his shell.

"Who said anything about hidin'? Maybe I just don't feel like talkin'" Came an accented voice from somewhere above him.

When he turned to locate the sound, he made out the shape of Raph falling to the floor of the pipe. He stood up and stayed still. Maybe thinking he didn't see him, or hear him over the sound of rushing water around them.

"Why'd you follow me Don?" The voice still carried an edge to it.

_Walls behind walls. _Donatello thought wryly. _He came to me, now he wants me to go._

"I just wanted to say thank you for earlier." He let his eyes slip around the tunnel, pretending he couldn't see Raphael in the near pitch black sewer. Raph seemed to buy it, because he moved all the closer.

"And well, that you didn't have to do that. I was the one distracted, and I paid the price for it."

"Yea, well, I couldn't stand by an' watch when I'm the reason for the distraction, now could I?"

He couldn't help it, he jumped. Raphael had managed to sneak right up beside him with out him knowing. He could feel his breath warm the cold skin of his neck. He turned to look at him.

"That's very true, and that's why I'm here." He gave an uncertain smile. "Thank you."

Raph chuckled. "Oh, don't thank me yet."

He felt his brother's fingers brush against his leg, barely any real contact. But it made him jump none the less. He heard the low rumble of a chuckle emanating from Raphael. He felt his breath quicken, just enough to have a slight hitch to it. This wasn't why he had come out here. He had just wanted to thank him for standing up for him. Right?

_Did you really? Or did you think this was a perfect opportunity? You're both alone with no real chance of anyone finding you. I think the real question to ask yourself right now is do you want to._

"Raph…I…uh, that is to say. The other night…was…u'hm…"

Raph chuckled as he listened to the smartest man he knew stutter, over him no less. He brushed his hand against his brother again, and felt the skin jump beneath his wandering digits.

"Donny, ya don't have ta say anything. Really. But, ya gotta stop or yer gonna hurt yourself."

Donatello instantly clamped his mouth shut, hazel eyes darting to his brother's beak before him. The look didn't pass unnoticed by Raphael, who used the momentary indecision to lean forward. Pressing his beak to his brothers passionately.

When he felt no resistance from Donatello, he deepened the kiss. After a moment, he felt something against his neck and face, and realized with a small little spark of joy, that it was his brother's hands holding their mouths together.

Wrapping his arms around the purple banded turtle, he hugged him close. Not daring to let him go now that he had him, for anybody. Turtle, or otherwise.


	4. Love and a Cough Cannot Be Hid

**Love And A Cough Cannot Be Hid**

How long had they been down here? Sitting on the small ledge with their feet being pulled along by the currant of sewer water? He could feel his brother's unwavering grip from the arm casually slung across his shoulders. His head rested against both the arm and the tunnels wall. Thoughts of their passionate embrace from earlier still lingering on his sea of emotions.

"Why me Raph?"

The soft voice pricked up amongst the backgrounds din so casually that the red-masked turtle had to recall if they had been having a conversation he wasn't aware of.

"Why you what Donny?"

Donatello shifted, pulling away to look at his brother in the near pitch lighting of the sewer.

"You know what I mean."

Raph paused to answer, when Donny suddenly felt the body beside him freeze. His older brother had gone rigid, he watched as Raphael's eyes searched the darkness.

"Don, did you tell anyone where you were goin'?"

The olive-skinned turtle shook his head mutely.

"Well, we've got company. Quick!"

Without being told, Donatello jumped up, bo-staff at the ready. All traces of the prior intimacy vanishing in an instant. They stood side by side staring into the gaping entrance.

"Who do you think it is?" The purple masked turtle whispered his lips barely moving.

Raph caught a whiff of something on the breeze and silently cursed. It was the scent of amber and patchouli.

"You can stop hidin' Leo, we know yer out there!"

Beside him, he could hear a muttered question from the brain of the family as Don relaxed his stance. Raphael was a little slow on that aspect, not quite ready to give his older brother a chance to have the upper hand if it came to that.

Materialising just two feet from them was their Fearless Leader. Raphael felt his insides churn; he wondered just how long Leo had been waiting for them before he realized they were being watched.

Leonardo's look was unreadable as he glanced between them.

"Master Splinter wants to see you."

"It can wait." The red-banded turtle replied, just as curtly.

"No, it can't. Go, now. Donatello and I can follow; besides, I need to talk to him privately."

Despite the rising panic, Don nodded at Raphael, who scowled at the pair of them before turning and stalking off. The shadows devouring his shell as he retreated from their line of sight.

Turning, Donatello felt like his was getting ready to face the judge, jury and executioner for his part in the two turtle sin. But all he saw was worry in those dark brown eyes.

"Don, I'm sorry about earlier. I know I went too hard, and I shouldn't have." He searched the purple masked face for any emotion. But Don merely shrugged, head lowering.

"It's okay Leo, I wasn't as focused as I ought to have been." _Please leave it be…_

They both began the twenty minute trek back to the lair.

"That's another thing I'd like to talk about." He paused, leaving room open for his brother to initiate the conversation. When all he received was silence, he attempted a side attack.

"Is it Raph? You two seem to be spending more time together, has he been bothering you?"

Don wracked his brain but couldn't see what Leo meant; they acted normally in the day when they were around the others.

"Leo, Raph and I don't spend any more time together than we usually do."

Leo's voice was serious when he responded, "Not in the day you don't, you're right."

"Oh." Donatello wondered frantically when his brother had started waiting up for Raph again. There was that knot again, clenching his stomach.

"We both usually just grab a snack and chat. That's about it." _Drop it Leo, please…_

"And the fighting?"

_Please…no…don't say it…_Don swallowed, "Fighting?"

"That one night, I heard yelling when I went to the bathroom. I saw you two sparring, I waited and kept watch in case Raph got out of hand…"

_No, you didn't see anything…please say you left before…_

The floor beneath his feet seemed to vanish, giving way to a yawning abyss ready to swallow him whole.

"But it didn't, we sparred and then went our separate ways." _God, is that __**my **__voice? I sound so guilty._

_Guilty of what?_ Another voice piped up, a usual curious wave in his mind was currently nothing more than a tiny trickle. And all it wanted to know was why he thought he was in the wrong.

_God Leo, of all the times for you to have to use the bathroom…Why couldn't you just let sleeping dogs lie? It's not like I do horrid things day in, day out. Just let me have a moment's peace that doesn't revolve around computers._ He clenched his fist for a moment, feeling the tightness of his skin, and then relaxed.

"No, you're right. We discussed a few things first, things that had been on our minds."

He felt a strong hand on his shoulder, stilling his forward motion. When he turned to look at Leonardo, he was struck by how similar he and Raphael actually were. The feel of his hand on his shoulder to the deep penetrating look his was getting.

"Don, I know what happened. Frankly, I was actually a little worried I might come across you and he, uh…"

Donatello watched with acute fascination as Leo swallowed hard, a strange look on his face.

"Leo, I – we haven't! I mean, that is to say, we won't, I - I'm sorry." He trailed off as his brother raised a tri – fingered hand to silence the stream of words.

"Donny, if you plan on continuing with this, than you have to come clean."

The light above the abyss that had been shining so brilliantly before was now a dull, fading yellow. The mouth was almost completely closed.

"Come clean?" _He couldn't mean…_

The older turtle nodded. "Yes, you both need to tell Mikey, and gain Fathers blessing."

"But, all we did was kiss!"

Leo nodded, "Good. Because you should only proceed with his blessing. And I expect you two to decide upon this together, and soon."

"What if…what if I couldn't get Raph to agree to it?" He asked nervously.

There were no grips to help him climb out, and the mouth was nearly a slit now…how did he allow himself to get into such a mess?

"Then it has to stop. It is only right to be together with his blessing, without it…" Leo shook his head, and continued walking. Leaving the other standing alone, fighting back his emotions.

Donatello looked up as he felt the abyss devour him, closing up. He was trapped, all because his brother was a hormonally charged turtle.

-_TBC-_


	5. Bittersweet Truths

**Bittersweet Truths**

Afraid To Fall

Chapter 5

Mikey watched the procession of brothers as they entered the lair. First had been Raph, looking more foreboding than usual, he had gone straight to Master Splinter's room. No doubt to explain away the problems from this mornings training against Leo. The orange masked turtle had just sat down to his pizza brunch meal when he spotted Leo and Donny walking in. Their fearless leader had a very sombre expression on his face; while Don looked two shades paler and like he was about lose whatever was in his stomach.

Mikey bounded over, leaving the gooey mess on his plate. "Hey, what's goin' on?" Asked the most jubilant of the currant trio.

The purple masked brother looked up into the innocent blue eyes of Michelangelo and felt his stomach rebel. Muttering an excuse, he made a hasty dash to the bathroom.

"What's with him?" Mike asked Leo worriedly.

"Nothing that won't soon be explained." He explained cryptically.

Deciding to check on his brother, Mike made his way to the bathroom, knocking lightly on the door. He was glad he didn't hear any sounds of retching; it always made his own stomach churn.

"Hey, you okay in there, bro?"

The squeak of the tap turning off and the water receding down the drain. His older brother didn't reply.

"…dude?"

"Yeah?" Came the strained reply through the door.

"If you want to talk about – "

"Mikey… I don't think it's something you'd…" The purple banded turtle chose his next words carefully, not wanting to offend his younger brother. "Understand." He finished cautiously.

Donatello knew how sensitive Mikey could get; even more so when it came to his intellect.

"Try me, bro"

From behind the door, Mikey could hear his brother give just the slightest of chuckles.

"…I don't know Mikey, it's a bit complicated and complex. The scientific and mathematical odds of the entire thing being in my favour are of the minutest percentile."

Hearing this, Mikey paused before giving a nod of his head. He knew that Donatello couldn't see him but that didn't matter. He leaned against the door and crossed his arms.

"Well, that's pretty grimtacular, bro… But there's probably a smidgen of a…percentile? In your corner cheering for you."

After a few moments of silence, Michelangelo strained against the door, trying to hear if Donatello was thinking aloud or if had just stopped talking.

The door jerked open, sending Mikey shell back onto the floor, looking up at a slightly stunned Donatello.

"Warn a turtle, will ya?"

Donatello gave a weak smile, "Mikey, uh, could you perhaps come down to my lab with me? So we can talk in private?"

"Yea, sure, everything okay though?"

The youngest gave a slight grunt as he tried to get onto his feet. He gave a defeated sigh and gave his brother a dead pan look.

"..Shut up, don't even say it."

"That you're stuck on your shell and can't get up?"

"I told you not to say it!"

Donatello gave his brother a mirthless smirk, but reached down to lend a hand. Once Mike was back on his feet, the pair made their way to Don's lab. Mike glanced over his shoulder to Leo, who was paying them very close attention, and he couldn't help but wonder curiously and a bit hopefully if Leo had finally gotten the courage to talk to Donny.

Well, he was about to find out one way or another. Once inside the lab, Donny shut the door behind them while Mikey quickly occupied the only good chair in the room. A decrepit spinny chair that was constantly in need of repair. He glanced at the alarm clock.

_Geez, it's not even quarter past eleven yet! It's still morning, and already, there's angst in the air._ Mike huffed, leaning back carefully in the chair.

"Alright bro, spill."

Donatello couldn't help but admire that openly honest look his brother always wore. Not matter the situation or chaos that sometimes happened between them, Mikey always seemed ready to push everything and anything aside to offer an open ear. No judgement, only contemplation and advice. Donatello than found it quite amusing and ironic; the most silliest and child-like could be the most serious. It was an admiring quality.

"Dude, are you gonna talk or just stare at me all day? I mean, I know I'm the handsomest thing around, it's flattering bro. But you didn't bring me here to admire my greatness."

A soft laugh escaped Donny's mouth, "You're entirely right."

He let out a deep breath and rolled around in his mind all the different ways to tell his younger brother. But how does one explain to his brother, that he's been romantic with their other brother? He felt his stomach begin to roll again, he rubbed it absently.

"Okay Mike, you deserve the truth. But I need you to remain quiet until I'm done." Don moved to the other side of the room, taking deep, steadying breaths before he began.

"First off, please don't tell Raph what we talked about, not yet."

At this, the youngest quirked an eye ridge. _Does this mean that Leo finally…?_

"Raph and I have, well… only once or twice – " Three_ times._ His mind corrected him. "Well, we've kissed, and well… I – I enjoyed it." He couldn't believe he was saying this!

Mike stayed silent, the gears in his head moving. "So, that's what you an' Leo were talkin' about bro?"

Donatello stopped in his pacing to give the youngest a quizzical look.

"Yes. Besides that, what else would he want to talk about?"

"Uh…nothin' dude." He flashed the purple banded turtle a mega-watt Mikey grin and jumped out of the chair.

"So…that's all that's buggin' ya dude?"

"You're taking this a lot better than I thought you would Mikey."

The orange masked turtle patted Donatello on the shoulder and said; "You're not the only one who's had a crush on a bro, bro."

"But, Leo wants me to tell Father." Donny interjected. Stowing away what Mike said for later analyzing.

This stopped Mike's happy grin. "He what? But dude…that's like a death wish."

Don lowered his head into his hands, leaning back against the wall.

"I know, I know." He sighed heavily, shoulders slumping in a look of defeat.

Michelangelo shook his head with shock.

"No dude, I mean Leo couldn't do that. Not after he…"

When Don didn't hear anything to end what Mikey was saying, he looked up but the young turtle had already left.

Through the lair Michelangelo searched, and found his eldest brother in the dojo. He snorted in a slight sarcastic way. Heaven forbid Leonardo be any place else, Mikey thought.

Leonardo, having heard his brother's entrance, continued his arm's movements as if his brother wasn't in the room.

"Dude, what is in your brain?"

"Mm? What are you talking about Mikey?"

"Don't act like the innocent party here bro. You knew the full consequences of what you told Donny to do."

"Well, they should get –"

"Would you get his blessings?"

At this, Leonardo fell silent, his tai chi having frozen and his face expressionless. To anyone else, it might have looked like Leo was staring off into space. To those in the family, an entirely different story would be construed.

"Then why would you tell Donny to?"

When Leo didn't answer, Mikey got exasperated. "Why dude?"

"They should learn to control themselves better."

The orange masked turtle shook his head with frustration, "You know Leo, just because you won't let yourself admit your feelings, doesn't mean that poor Donny needs to get the tail end of your anger!"

Leo fell silent, surprised at upset his brother was.

"If you had an ounce of decency in ya bro, you'd go an' tell Donny to ignore what you told him earlier."

Leo's eyes fell to the floor, he felt ashamed.

"Or you could…y'know…"

"No. …I… I couldn't. Not after what I told him."

"Well dude, then at the least you can do is tell him how sorry you were for even suggesting going to Master Splinter."

Leonardo nodded.

"You're right; I hope he hasn't talked to Raph yet."

Mike's eyes went wide, "Uh…"

Leo gave a panicked look, before quickly sprinting out of the dojo to Don's lab. He knocked loudly on the old wooden door. He felt his insides turn to ice at the split second he had to view Donny's tearful face from within the lab before Raph's fist connected with Leo's face.

-TBC-


	6. Chapter SixPt1

**Confessions of a Blue Boy**

When Leo first came to, his entire world knew only throbbing pain. It seared from his jaw to his head, forming a splitting headache that worked its way down to his neck. He gave a low groan and raised a hand to his head. His eyes opened for a moment only to squeeze shut just as quickly against the searing bright light. He could hear voices in the background, adding to the throb in his left temple.

"-matter. Where does 'e get off tellin' you we're wrong?"

"You still didn't have to render him unconscious, Raph."

There was a muttered response and Leo forced an eye open¸ he could faintly make out the shapes of Donatello and Raphael. Don had his hand on a very irate Raph, who glanced in Leo's direction. Noticing his brother was finally coming too. Moving over, Don laid a cool and trembling hand on Leonardo's face. The blue masked brother silently relished in the soothing effect that simple gesture was having.

"Hey, you okay Leo?"

He gave his brother a shaky '_yes'_ before allowing himself to be helped to his feet.

"You went down pretty hard; we thought you might have hit your temple on the table when you fell."

The leader glanced to his side, taking note of the small end table. _Well, that would explain the raging headache._

"Whatever, listen Leo, you'd better have some damn good news to come traipsin' back here!" Raph growled lowly, pushing his way between Don and Leonardo.

The blue masked turtle glared up at Raphael, forcing the other eye open for the desired effect. "Actually, I do." He punctuated, resisting the urge to prod his brother's plastron for emphasis. The last thing he wanted to do was accidentally make his brother lose his cool when he still felt a bit woozy.

Raph crossed his arms with a sneer, "Well? Speak, oh Fearless Leader."

Turning to look at Donatello over Raphael's shoulder. Leo pulled back his shoulders and held himself fully upright. Disregarding the fresh bursts of pain that fired off inside his head at the actions.

"I acted rashly Don, I'm sorry. You're right; going to Master Splinter isn't always the answer."

From the living room, Mike watched the going's on with a mix of relief and trepidation. He hoped things would work out now, but he had a feeling it would only get worse. Glancing at their Father's door, he caught sight of a thin, three fingered hand shutting the door quietly.

_Yup, definitely worse…_

"Damn right you acted '_rashly' _you little fucking – "

"Raph, I said I was sorry!"

The hot headed turtle punched his fist, "Not yet yer not."

"Leave him alone."

Both turned to look at Donatello.

"But after all he did to ya?" Asked Raphael incredulously.

Don's soft, forgiving eyes looked to Leo, and the Leader felt his heart flip-flop with pain at hurting his little brother with his jealousy.

"Yes, because I'm sure that he felt it was for the best at the time."

Leonardo gave an appreciative smile toward his brother. Having lost the second match before it had even begun, Raph threw up his hands annoyed muttering curses at them both and giving a final accusation at Don.

"Yer too trustin' Donny!" And stalked off.

Giving Leo a tired smile, the purple masked turtle knew he wasn't in the clear yet, but he _was_ one step closer.

The rest of the day passed with relative normalcy, although each son stayed to their respective corners, Splinter knew something was wrong. But he hoped his sons were old enough now to sort of the animosity amongst themselves.

As night approached, Raph declared that he was heading out to visit Casey. For once, Leo didn't put up a fuss and let him leave. Explaining to himself that he'd rather his brother take out his aggression on the Purple Dragon than them.

The last of the tension seemed to evaporate as the more hostile brother left the lair. Wanting to check Leo to make sure he wouldn't have any lasting damage from being KO'd, Don finally managed to get his brother to sit still.

There was a large black and blue bruise developing along his brothers jaw line, but it didn't compare to the goose egg that was forming just to the right of his temple.

"You're lucky you hit the table the way you did."

Leo chuckled dryly. "I'd rather I not have hit it at all."

Donatello gave his brother a '_well obviously' _look, but continued with his ministrations. The blue masked turtle reclined against the back of the kitchen chair. The lair had grown quiet, their father having taken to retiring early on in the night. Mike was in his room reading comics, or drawing them as he had taken to doing. He didn't deny the enjoyment he felt at being looked after, if only for a moment.

Leo sighed, knowing that he owed his brother a decent explanation about his actions.

"Donny, about earlier…"

"Don't worry about it, Leo."

"No, listen to me."

At this, Donatello looked at his eldest brother. Even when he was injured, Leo still took charge. He never let up with his responsibility, never really relaxed.

"Okay." Don replied, looking at his brother expectantly, and with a little unease.

Ignoring the wooziness that still slightly swam in his head, Leonardo sat up even more.

"I was not acting in your best interests when I told you that you should get our Father's blessings for you and Raph's relationship."

Donatello had to bite his tongue at that, after all; he didn't really think kissing constituted as a real relationship. But, he couldn't help but feel confused at what his brother was saying.

Leo watched the penetrating stare Don had, his curious mind must have been working over time, and the look made the Leader's chest ache at having caused him pain earlier. He let out a deep breath he wasn't aware he had been holding.

"Donny… I wanted you to go to Master Splinter about your relationship because I knew that if you did… He would end it." Lead dropped into his heart at the pained emotion that had etched itself into Donatello's expressive eyes.

"Why?"

Even when the answer might stab, the purple masked turtle always wanted to know the why.

Leonardo swallowed hard, "Because… I was jealous."

"Envious? Of what?"

"Of what you share with Raphael."

This was so difficult to do, but he knew that it wasn't even half the battle. He watched as Donatello's eye ridges raised up in genuine surprise.

"I'm jealous of what you have with Raphael." He repeated, in case he wasn't sure he had heard his brother.

Leo glanced at the floor, trying to get everything he was feeling under control; "Donatello… I want to be in Raph's shell. I want to be the turtle that gets to hold you at night, and wake up with you in the morning…Don…" He took this moment to look back at his brother, praying that he wasn't making a huge mistake.

"I…I love you."

Donny felt his heart stop, if only momentarily in shock. Was Leo really saying what he thought he was? But, what did he do to deserve such sentiment? It wasn't like he went traipsing around all the time, enticing them, or attempting to win their affections. He was the brainiac, the one who spent all day long in front of a computer, typing away doing things.

"But Leo…" Donatello's eyes furrowed as his mind processed the information. It was all too much. First Raphael; hot, fiery and compassionate, his passion had barely even begun to show. Don found that kissing him was like touching fire, without the fright of being burned.

His mind wondered what it would be like to kiss Leonardo. He looked at his brothers brown eyes, dark, reserved and always watching. Would his brother's kisses be as calm and distant as he was? Or would he allow himself to lose control?

No sooner had these thoughts entered his head, when a wave of guilt enveloped him. He couldn't do that to Raphael. They hadn't done a lot, not really. But that was really more due to his inexperience and nervousness. His brother had been more than accommodating, had tried to comfort him when Don first told Raph what Leo had said. Telling the techi turtle that he'd have to 'talk' to Leo; had held him when all the stress had over-flown through tears. But Don had only cried for a moment, reigning in his emotions knowing how awkward his brother must have felt.

"Leo, I don't know what to say…I'm very flattered, truly. And I love you too, but…"

"But not like that." Leo finished, face going impassive.

Don bit his tongue in worry, afraid he was jeopardizing his relationship with Leonardo by having a relationship with Raphael.

"I'm sorry…"

The blue masked turtle nodded and stood up, "I understand, I'm going to go meditate. See if it'll clear my head."

Sighing deeply with regret, Donatello watched him go.


	7. Chapter Six Pt2

**The Masks of Love**

"Raph, somethin' buggin' ya man? You seem especially pissed tonight." Casey inquired, voice muffled by the white hockey mask.

The duo was on the roof of an office building, watching the criss-crossing streets and alleys.

_Earlier—_

The turtle had gone to the apt. Casey and April shared, and had just caught the vigilante as he had been finishing his shower. After promising April to bring her boyfriend back in one piece, they had left.

The pair had hit Central Park first, finding a usual retinue of drug dealers and kids trying too hard to emulate the thugs they watched on t.v.

"Jeez, would ya lookit that?"

"Yea, I'm lookin'…" Raphael grumbled. "I ain't gonna go take my anger out on a bunch of kids too stupid to know any better."

"Hey, what's that over there?" Casey asked, pointing over to a section of the park. It was an unlit portion seemingly cut off from the rest of the area.

Raph gave Casey a leering smirk. "Hey, I said I'd bring ya back ta April in one piece Case… I don't think that excluded hookers!"

Casey pulled himself away from his companion.

"Hah hah, very funny." He took another look toward the wounded area.

The red masked turtle nodded as they made their way over. In order to draw anyone out, Casey took to walking alone in the open, seemingly in a hurry and worried looking. Something that always sounded dumber that it really was. But then again, most of the med they went after did lack certain _finesse _in the brain department.

But of course, there's always an exception to every rule, and Raph made sure he knew everyone of them.

"Case, hold up. Something doesn't feel right here…" The turtles amber eyes searched the dark trees that seemed to bend away from the encroaching light of a nearby street lamp.

"What do ya see?" He might be a constant player in the darkness, but he was by no means able to see in the dark as well as someone born and raised in it.

"Nothing…" Raphael sighed reluctantly, but he couldn't shake that eerie feeling.

Casey gave a hearty grin, "Alright then! Here's hopin' I get jumped!"

Raph watched the human take off after depositing his mask and golf bag of weapons in some nearby bushes. He slinked further into the shadows, weapons drawn he waited. He heard the sound of footsteps, but they were going in the wrong direction. They weren't going after Casey, they were soft and indistinct. They sounded closer suddenly…

The mutant turtle had only a second's warning of the incoming attack, turning sais raised, he caught the hand between the prongs of the weapon and twisted. The masked assailant dropped the gun as his hand and arm twisted painfully to the left.

The sound of the man grunting in pain shot a jolt of adrenaline through his veins and he grinned dangerously as he released the hand to slide the sais back into his belt. He needed a good fight, and if the guy could do even a half decent job of sneaking up on him, then perhaps he knew how to fight as well.

Taking up a fighter's stance as fluidly as breathing, he raised his fists. Both opponents began to circle, two heart beats had passed before Raphael darted forward, arm raised and pulled back. The dark clothed attacker anticipated the move and grabbed a hold of the oncoming fist, using the momentum to pull him into a half spin and launch him away.

Raph had only a split second to comprehend what was being done to his as he felt his body twirl and stumble on its own accord before crashing into the large trunk of an oak tree.

He felt his plastron and head connect with the trunk as the branches above shuddered with the impact. Pushing himself away from the immovable object, he turned to attack again only to find the man gone.

"Huh?" He muttered intelligently as he scanned the perimeter before him. Turning, he didn't have any warnings this time around as a fist connected solidly with the side of his beak. With the connection, his head had jerked to the side as he felt something inside his mouth rip and a wash of copper flooded his taste buds. Pain flared like electricity through his jaw. Shortly after, another first came crashing into the other side, only to have the still tender side of his left jaw feel a new stinging blow as the first landed another blow.

Raphael staggered back, seeing little explosions before him. _Where the fuck is Casey?_

Breathing hard, he tried to gather his wits, and his eyes focused long enough to see that the man before him removed his face mask. Revealing a pale skinned thirty something guy with a dark tattoo of a purple dragon running down the length of his face, across his right temple and disappearing down into the folds of his black sweater.

At the sight of the gang's marker, the red masked turtle felt his blood boil.

"Man, that was just pathetic… and here I thought if the Shredder couldn't beat ya, you guys musta been tough!" The punk shook his head, "You guys are just a wait a

time…I'm gonna enjoy doin' somethin' even the mighty Karai couldn't do!" He moved closer to the turtle. "First, I'm gonna have fun makin' turtle-pate wit' ya, then…I'm gonna go an make yer leader rat boy inta a nice throw rug. How's that sound?" Getting into Raph's face, he gave a leering grin as he punched his hand with his fist.

Drawing back, the punk attempting to land another punch to the red masked turtle's already tenderized jaw, but was stopped when a thick green hand engulfed his own, five digit one.

"Fuckin' cocky lil shit, ain't ya…" Raph grunted, holding tightly to the fist.

"What the…"

Hearing the shock in the Purple Dragon, Raphael smirked, twisted and flung the man over his shell and shoulder. The gang member landed with a dull thud and grunt on the ground; the wind knocked out of him.

Before he could even catch his breath, Raphael was on top, pressing his knee into the mans chest hard. The Purple Dragon wheezed, trying to catch his breath when Raphael's fist smashed into his face. He couldn't believe the pain.

Up top, Raph shoved his other fist into the gang member's face, enjoying the sound of breaking cartilage. _Who the _fuck_ did this little shit think he was? He shoulda been here ages ago!_

Casey, hearing the sounds of shouts and screams decided that the time of being a decoy was over. Stopping long enough to retrieve his hockey mask and golf bag full of hockey sticks, he took off full speed in the direction of where the sounds were emanating from.

He came across Raphael sitting atop from guy with a sai in hand, poised above some guys throat. Eyes wide he ran over, hands wrapping around the edge of Raph's shell in order to haul the turtles off the bloodied and nearly unconscious man.

"Rrrnaargh! Leggo a me!" He threw Casey off of him with his free arm, eyes locked on the tattooed man beneath.

Falling back, Casey took a moment to regain himself before throwing himself at his friend again.

"Leggo Raph! I think he's learned his lesson!" He punctuated each word with a tug on the turtle's shell. Sense finally seemed to slip back into Raphael's psyche, as the twenty year old turtle shifted his weight and stood.

"Casey…I-"He paused, not sure how to explain.

How do you explain that you weren't seeing some pale, greasy guy beneath you, but your brother?

"C'mon…" Raphael waved a hand, taking off. The vigilante took one last look at the man lying on the ground; both eyes puffed shut, lip split and his nose bent at an odd angle, before jogging to catch up with the turtle.

"C'mon Raph, you can talk to me man." Casey sat on the edge of the building beside the red masked turtle.

The ninja shook his head, "Not this time Case…I really doubt you'd understand." _That I wanna screw my brother._ He silently finished.

"Is it like…a turtle thing?"

Raph chuckled, "Yea, somethin' like that."

Casey nodded falling silent; he knew better to broach the subject. He glanced down at his watch and whistled.

"Aw man! I gotta get home or April's gonna kill me! She made me swear not to stay out past two again!"

Jumping back from the edge, he turned and made his way to the buildings fire escape when he heard Raph speak up.

"Hey Case, you love April?"

The young man took note of the effort his turtle friend was making to not look at him; "Yea, I do."

"Livin' with her… makes ya happy right?"

"Hey man, all I know is that she's the only one that'd probably put up with me."

The large turtle nodded, then silently slipped off the building; landing on the fire escape of a neighbouring building. Casey sighed and shook his head.

"Turtles…"

Back straight, knees crossed in the lotus position with his hands atop his knees sat Leonardo. He had been meditating for the last two hours, focusing his mind and body. But it had started to become steadily impossible with the music that was drifting up from the bedroom beneath him.

_Why is Mikey up so late?_

Breathing deeply he couldn't help but hear some of the lyrics as they floated up, they sounded sad and completely different from the usual techno music the youngest brother usually blared.

_I never felt nothing in the world like this before_

_I'm missing you and wishing you would come back through my door._

The blue masked Leader could faintly hear the scraping sound of the lairs door opening and closing, signifying the return of his brother. But there was no sound of him on the second floor, which meant that he might have be with Don in his lab.

Leo's throat constricted at the thought, and he pushed away any images of the two from his mind.

_So why does your pride make you run and hide?_

_Are you that afraid of me?_

Maybe he could talk to Mikey; after all, he was there for Leo when he wasn't even aware of his feelings for his own brother. Maybe he'd be able to help him take his mind off of things. Standing, Leonardo made his way downstairs and listened to the song grow in intensity as he paused outside his brothers door.

_But I know it's a lie that you keep inside_

_This is not how you want to be, why did you have to go?_

_You could have let me know, now I'm all alone…._

As the song faded out, Leo raised a hand to knock when he heard the sound of a sniffle from within. Worried, he rapped lightly on the door.

"Mikey?"

When there wasn't an immediate answer, he tried again.

"Mikey, it's Leo. Can I come in?"

From within, he heard the sound of feet hitting the floor followed by a click as the stereo was shut off. Grasping the knob, he opened the door cautiously and admitted himself into the room.

He spotted Mike back to him in his hammock.

"You okay bro?" The blue masked turtle asked tentively.

"Yea, 'course I am, why wouldn't I be?" Came the overtly happy reply.

Leonardo watched as Mikey jumped out of his hammock sporting a very large grin. One look and Leo saw right through the façade.

"No, something is definitely wrong, and I wish you'd talk to me about it."

Mikey gave a slight shrug and walked over to his small bookshelf. "Honestly, Leo I'm okay. Nothin's wrong."

"Mikey, I just heard you crying not two minutes ago."

"I read something funny enough to bring me to tears bro, that's all."

"Really? What?"

"Oh, you wouldn't get it, not your kind of humour, super hero stuff.."

Leo folded his arms, watching his brother intensely.

"Fine, but something is definitely bugging you. Sad music – "

"From the radio!"

Sighing, Leonardo lowered his arms and looked away.

"Why won't you tell me?"

Michelangelo whirled on him, hate dancing in his baby blues.

_"And why won't you just mind your own business?!" _

Startled, Leo took a step back. "I'm sorry…" He replied and left.

Watching his brother leave, Mike pressed his balled up fists to his eyes; attempting to stave off a fresh wave of tears.


	8. You and I Aren't Wrong 63

**You and I Aren't Wrong**

Donatello paused in his conversation as he noticed Raphael's attention divert to his door.

"Thought I herd somethin'"

The purple banded turtle heaved a sigh and looked his companion over, the fight from earlier was evident on the turtles face. His one cheek was puffed out while a bruise had formed along the jaw line on the other side.

"What? Ya never seen a couple of bruises before?"

"There's no need to get contrary, I was just thinking about what it's like…to be up there, doing what you do." He paused, "I'm not even sure if I want to know how you can convince them to have sex with you… I mean, don't they notice the shell?" He said, waving a hand at Raph's back.

Raphael let out a deep chuckle, shaking his head. "Ya know, that's what I like 'bout you Donny. Nothing really frightens you; ya just wanna know how it works."

The turtle in question felt a slight blush form along his beak, but he smiled none the less. "Thanks for being so patient with me Raph."

"Huh?"

Still smiling, the younger mutant turtle leaned in, pressing his beak against Raph's. Swallowing his sudden shock he pressed back, enjoying the feeling. His hand went to Donatello's shell, pulling him close as he tongue grazed along his brothers lips before pushing in.

Don moaned in surprise at the intrusion and how nice it felt. The sound was encouraging, egging the older one on. His hands roamed along his brother's arms and thighs. The light touches caused Donatello's skin to shiver in the wake of each gentle caress.

As the petting's and kisses became more fervid, it took all of Raphael's will power to stop. But from the way his brother's hazel eyes captivated him; filled with confusion, desire and a longing Raph didn't know existed, he had to be sure of something.

He licked his lips, "Donny? You alright with this?"

The aforementioned nodded, "Y-yea…I want this…really Raph…"

There was that longing again, it made his heart ache, he wanted to be perfect for his brother. If Raph had his wish, Don would never have to bear witness to the atrocities that he had. Instead, he settled for a rare warm smile and leaned in again only to have Don place a hand to his plastron; pushing his back gently.

Not here, not in the lab…somewhere a little more comfortable."

The red-masked turtle took a look at their surroundings. There were about six computers around them, three of which were still aglow with diagrams and charts. The younger turtle was seated in his swivel chair, while Raph rested his backside against the main desk in front of Donatello.

Far off to the side of the room was Don's make shift bed, consisting of a mattress and a pile of pillows, all miss matched. Pushing himself off the desk he turned toward the far side of the room and held out his hand.

"Well, c'mon then brainiac."

The smaller mutant gave a nervous grin but accepted the proffered hand, and made his way with the older turtle to the bed. Raphael watched as Donatello sat down and patted next to him, Raph sat, turning to face him.

The nervousness in the air was palpable. Simply a glance from Raphael's red-brown eyes made Donatello's heart skip and his breath quiver. His eyes darted from Raph's beak and back again.

"Don?" He breathed, worried.

The purple banded turtle slowly leaned in as Raphael closed the space between them gently placing a kiss on his brother's lips.

The kiss was gentle, almost reserved; it certainly was different then the other times they had kissed. Donatello's hands, which had been resting in his lap began to move of their own accord as they made tentative progress upwards to rest on his brothers muscled arms.

He could feel Raph tense beneath his fingers, but only momentarily. It astonished him and even excited him that such a soft touch could create that much response. He continued to kiss his brother as his fingertips grazed along the smooth flesh of his brother's arm.

He knew that a moment like this could never be recreated and he wanted to explore every possibility that opened up to him. Donatello could feel his brother's patience slipping away as Raphael deepened the kiss, pressing their mouths together with passion.

Don gripped his brother as he moved slowly back onto his unmade bed, their lips still firmly locked. A large pillow pushed uncomfortably against Donatello's neck and he tossed it to the side with a small grunt of protest. Raph pulled his knees up beneath him, straddling Don as he leaned forward, elbows resting comfortably on either side of the young turtles head.

Another mewling moan escaped Don's mouth as the connection between their lips broke when Raphael moved to his brother's neck; nipping and sucking at the tender flesh. The sensations were so new to him; Don wasn't quite sure what to make of them. It stung, almost like a sharp pinch, followed by the slight tickle of Raph's tongue.

He restrained himself and reined in from making too much noise, he wasn't sure if his brothers or father were fully asleep yet. The few sounds that did escape in a whispered proclamation sounded as loud as a fire cracker to his ears.

His will power almost went into remission when he felt Raph bite hard onto a particularly arousing area just under his jaw. Above the squirming turtle, Raph noticed how much Don seemed to enjoy what he was doing and chuckled softly, moving to place a trail of kisses down the length of his brothers deep yellow plastron. Moving steadily lower until his face hovered above the junction where the legs joined the body,

His hands trailed up along Don's inner thighs, causing the young turtle breath to hitch. His mouth soon followed in his fingers wake, his teeth nipping at the sensitive skin. When that elicited a fresh groan of pleasure, Raphael, curious, bit down again, only harder this time around. There was a gasp as Don's eyes flew open.

"Dat hurt?" He asked, worried.

Donatello shook his head, hands kneading the sheets. He heard Don mumble something into the side of a pillow.

"What?"

" --'gain? Please?"

So his lil brother liked it rough? He chuckled again, his hot breath moving up to tickle his legs. Raph pulled the flesh between his teeth again; it was getting difficult to continue as Don began to pant and squirm all the harder.

Just when Don felt he'd go nuts from Raphael's teasing, it stopped. From between his legs he heard his brother moan, and it took his lust filled mind a few seconds to figure out why.

He had dropped down, fully exposing himself to his brother. He felt his whole face grow hot, and it wasn't from Raphael's earlier ministrations. Donatello almost closed his legs right then, embarrassment making him suddenly shy. He was starting to doubt that this was such a good idea in the first place, when he felt something that made him blink in shock. Propping himself up on his elbows, still panting slightly, he looked down to stare between his legs, and got an eyeful of his older brother; between his legs.

Raphael heard a slight whimper and looked up into hazel eyes; he withdrew his tongue and felt the corner of his mouth twist into a devious smirk. He wondered how much more teasing Don could take, before he begged for it.

Before him, Donatello moaned into the hand he had placed over his mouth to stifle any excess sounds. Don gave a slight whimper into his hand. Raphael gave a small smirk as he watched Donatello's hips rise up to meet his hand

. He allowed his hands to run along his lovers olive green thigh, his mouth, eager and wanting. He ignored Donny's queries of:

"W-what are you doing?"

After the initial shock, a soft, happy sigh emanated from above. _Yea, thought you'd like that…_

Out of all the things that Raphael could have done, Donatello was quite thrilled that the feeling of a hot moist mouth over him felt so unique, so...good. Sure, he had seen these things on the internet, but he had always thought that it would feel awkward, disgusting. Displeasurable.

It was everything contrary.

Before he knew it, Donatello had spread his legs as much as possible and lifted his hips to allow his older brother more access. A sense of disappointment twinged in the genius turtle when the red banded turtle let go.

"Was 'dat a pout, Donny?"

His voice seemed so low, almost predatory. The chuckle that followed made his heart quicken with anticipation.

"What's so funny?"

"Nuthin'. I never thought you'd squirm so much is all."

"I--I was squirming?" He blushed, he hadn't even noticed.

"Yea, I liked it. Don, you're fuckin' hot when you squirm n' thrust."

Raphael gave him a smirk that said he wasn't lying. Another whimper was given as Raphael licked along his length again. Don was panting now, his head going side to side. The red masked turtle didn't know how much more he himself could take. Licking at Donatello and tasting him was almost too much to bear. It was then the words he had been waiting all night to hear graced his ears.

"Raph…I - I need you!"

It took all of Raphael's willpower not to just thrust into him then and there.

"Okay, Don… Jus' Just gimmie a sec…"

Raphael quickly got up to find something to use as lube. The only thing to be found was Vaseline. It'd work, it'd have too. He had a very horny turtle nearby that needed to be filled. The thought just made him quiver.

He returned to his brother, lubing him up as well as his finger. Slowly, Raphael entered a digit, he glanced up.

"Dat hurt?"

Donatello shook his head, "That's not you is it?"

"Nah, s'my finger."

"I want _you_, not your finger."

"I'm just getting you read. Don't want ya to tear."

Donatello grimaced. No, wouldn't want that. How would one explain that to the rest of the family?

'_I'm sorry. I can't sit down because I ripped myself a new one due to getting boinked by my brother.'_ Oh yea, real swell.

He went to roll over when Raphael stopped him.

"No, I want to be close to you."

The younger turtle couldn't help but smile inwardly and nodded. He lifted and spread his legs as much as possibly as Raph lined up. There was pressure, resistance. He tried to relax himself. Slight pain and then, he felt it; Raphael was fully in him. Right to the hilt, he felt stretched, taut, full.

"Y'alright?" Raphael grunted. Donatello nodded mutely.

He began slowly, in and out. He looked down at Donatello underneath him. He seemed to be enjoying himself. Good.

He began to move faster, feeling arms and legs wrap around his waist.

"Don…Christ, you feel amazing."

"You too, R-Raph…."

How could something that felt so right be deemed wrong? Evil, even? They weren't humans, how could they be breaking the laws of incest when they were the other had? Shell, they weren't even related!

Raphael could feel Donatello tightening up around him and sped up his bucking. A sharp intake of breath, and he knew. Just the knowledge of Donatello's climax was enough to send him over the edge. The legs wrapped around his waist tightened, then slowly relaxed. Raph's arms shuddered and screamed to collapse but he pulled himself out first. And grabbing a nearby corner of a sheet, he wiped himself clean rubbed most of Donny's chest clean from where he had climaxed.

Satisfied he rolled over to the side of the bed and pulled Don close to him. Feeling completely drained, Donatello stuck his head into the crook made between Raph's arm and neck. Neither of them spoke, and Raphael was glad for that. Because he wasn't sure he'd be able to say anything intelligible.

He heard a soft sound and glanced down, beneath him Don snored softly again and nuzzled the area just below Raph's neck in his sleep. He chuckled and felt his own eyelids grow heavy. _Fuck Leo and his lil temper tantrums…this _is_ right. No matter what the others say._ Wrapping an arm around his brother's plastron, he allowed himself to drift off into the first peaceful sleep in weeks.


	9. Careful Who You Tell you love

**Careful Who You Tell (that you love)**

**Chapter 7**

**Note:**_I don't own the turtles. The last two chapter have been co-written with a close friend. And will continue to be written with said friend. I appreciate his help, because without him, this story would have died -.-. Also, many thanks to my new editor Takamo!_

* * *

His hand rested on the doorknob, its dull metal feeling cool in the humid air of the lair. He knew he shouldn't be worried about entering; nothing had changed from the prior nights. But he had a suspicion that he had bore witness last night to a person released from within a prison. The tears and false smile; how many of those had been given to his family on a daily basis?

How many things did his brothers hide from him? How much more could he think was still in hiding?

Pulling back his shoulders, Leonardo assumed the stance of someone bent on getting something done, no matter the thoughts running rampant within his mind. His hand withdrew tentatively from the doorknob to rise up and knock on the wooden doorits mildewed looking wood covered with Police tape from one end to the other, with Industrial bands poster smack in the center.

"Mikey? Training in ten, I expect to see you downstairs and ready in five."

There was no response from within the room, but he decided to let it slip with good faith that his youngest brother had heard him. Downstairs, he heard Raphael coaxing Donatello into a conversation, the middle brother having been exceptionally quiet this morning. Leo didn't want to ponder as to what had transpired between the two that could cause such a reaction. Leo didn't want to ponder as to what had transpired between the two that could cause such a reaction; his heart pained a bit as at the assumptions that came forth screaming in his mind unbidden.

Their Father and Sensei was already in the dojo, preparing for their session. He knocked once more for good measure, but still heard nothing. _Maybe he has headphones on…_

"Hey! Fearless Leader, ya gonna join us or what?" Came Raph's gruff voice from the bottom of the stairwell.

The blue masked turtle felt his body tense at the words. _Join?_ He looked down at the darker colored turtle curiously. _He couldn't mean…_

"Training has commenced my son."

_Oh…_that_'s what he meant…_ With a mental slap to his forehead, Leo looked one last time at the closed door beside him and sighed.

"Mikey isn't answering." He explained, taking the stairs two at a time, coming to a stop beside the red masked turtle. Raphael looked over Leo's shoulder and grumbled something under his breath.

"I'll get 'em…Master Splinter's waitin' fer ya." He thumbed over to the dojo to where soft voices emanated.

Leo nodded, stopping Raph in mid stride up the first step.

"Go easy on him, okay?"

Honey red eyes registered surprise at the askance, but he nodded, turning to run up the stairs.

"Yo! I think ya got all the beauty sleep, knucklehead! Up n' at 'em!" Came Raph's loud voice in between the poundings of his fist.

Inside the dojo, dark brown eyes traveled over to where Splinter and Donatello were discussing something. Both stopped and looked at Leo when he entered the room.

"My son, please pair off with your brother, and begin a basic warm up." Splinter instructed, taking a few steps back to rest beside a half melted candle. His frame flickered in and out of the shadows the lone flame gave off in the corner of the room, causing his small figure to bend and grow in the wavering light to frightening proportions against the back wall.

Moving into position, one leg slightly bent behind him for support, only his shoulder available for attack. He watched as his brother copied the movement. Neither had their weapons, being un-needed for such a simple sparring match.

As they got closer, Leo jabbed out with his hand to attempt to make Don off kilter, but the close proximity made him pause for a second. Don's usual smell of axle grease and faint metal was only ever replaced by Irish Spring when he showered. But this morning he smelled faintly of that commercial promoting a deodorant called Axe and musk. The hesitation cost Leo a jab the left, and he backed up to see his brother moving in again, for once on the offensive, if only for the moment.

"Very good Donatello, Leonardo please pay closer attention to your opponent."

"Yes sensei."

Eyes never leaving Donatello, Leo forced himself to find his still point, and focus on the tasks at hand. _Donatello… No! He is not for me. He never was. I must get past that._ Raising his three fingered hands before him again, he crouched into a fighter's stance, preparing to spar with a brother.

-Upstairs-

"I told ya I don't feel good…"

"Uh huh..yea…I ain't buyin' that bro, and you oughta know better than tryin' it." Raph retorted, back leaning against the closed bedroom door.

Groaning, blue eyes stared dolefully at his reclining brother; he held a hand against his head in an attempt to prove the validity of his claim.

Raphael just shook his head, moving closer, eyeing Michelangelo with unbelieving dark amber red eyes.

"What's gotten into ya Mike? It's just some light trainin'…'sides, you really want Master Splinter to give ya a cure?" He asked, referring to the often acrid and rancid tasting home remedies that their father swears works against all aches and fevers. Despite their lack of holding the cure down.

This elicited a soft chuckle from the hammock, and Mikey finally rolled over to look at his older brother. His cornflower blue eyes held a hint of their former humour.

"So…you banged Donny last night didn't you?"

--

Downstairs in the dojo, sweating from the rigorous warm up, Donatello and Leonardo looked towards the ceiling as the shout reverberated around the lair.

"Looks like Mikey's finally up." Don commented wisely.

Clapping his hands for the training to come to an end for the time being, Splinter bade them to begin again after lunch, and sent them off for breakfast. In the kitchen, Don raised an eye ridge at the sight of Mikey pressing his shell against the wall, the door of the fridge the only thing between him and Raph.

"He's gone mental!" Mike shouted, traces of a smile hinting at the corner of his mouth.

"You wait till I get a holda you! Then you'll see how mental I can be!"

"Raphael! Please desist in frightening your younger brother and go and do thirteen laps around the dojo to make up for the missed practice. Michelangelo, that includes you as well!" Splinter reprimanded, to which Mike withdrew the tongue he had been sticking in Raph's direction.

"Ohh…maan…" Glancing at Raphael, Mikey made an '_eep!'_ sound at the predatory look he was being given and took off running, a small inkling forming that he was going to be running a bit more than thirteen laps today.

Leo gave a sigh as he sat down at the table, a bowl filled with cornflakes in one hand, and a jug of milk in the other. Don flipped open a box of left over pizza and poked around inside, looking for a slice that hadn't had toppings picked off by Mikey.

Behind them at the oven, Splinter brewed himself a cup of tea. Taking that and his toast, he made his way to the television set. It was his turn for the next few hours as he had soaps back to back until two pm.

Leo glanced over at his purple masked brother, unsure of how to goad him into a conversation. After what had transpired between the two he didn't want to say something that would make him appear to be an idiot, or make Donatello feel bad.

"Is your cereal so much more interesting than your current companion, Leo?" Came a chuckling voice off to the blue masked turtle's left.

Looking over at Donatello, Leonardo smiled and shook his head.

"Just thinking about things, that's all."

Don tilted his head and stood up, moving over to pour himself some freshly brewed coffee while grabbing a bowl for cereal as well. Sitting back down, he prepared his breakfast.

"Did you want to talk about it?" He asked hesitantly.

Leo paused, spoon heldhalf way between his mouth and the bowl. Staring at it, he watched as the milk dripped into the bowl and sighed.

"I guess I've just got a lot to figure out, with what's been going on lately. I mean… I never thought that… I never knew that you felt like --" He paused, searching for the right word. Donatello remained silent, allowing his brother to express himself without interruption.

"I guess I never thought that you would ever feel anything besides the love of a brother for any of us. I thought, frankly, that there was something wrong with me for feeling like that at all." He stared at the mass of beige goop and milk before him. "And then, Raph…"

Don looked away from Leo, staring at his own food, momentarily at a loss for words. He had had no idea how deeply Leo had cared for him, he was always good at hiding his true feelings. Something that was a gift on the battlefield; but a curse in their home, it made him feel like he could never really relax. Even amongst family.

"Leo, no one's at fault here. This is just something that happened." He tried his best to soothe his eldest brother, but decided that the nod and accepting look was as much a consolation as he was going to get.

What Don was about to say next was cut off by the sound of Mike's shout ricocheting around the Dojo, both brothers looked in the direction, and Leo sighed as he stood up.

"I guess I should go in there and stop any blood shed before it happens." He picked up the bowl and set it down by the sink.

Making his way into the small area designated as the training room, Leo spotted the two younger turtles off in a corner. Raphael had Michelangelo pinned to the floor, with Mikey attempting to get some leverage in order to push him off of him with his legs.

"Raph, let him up. This isn't doing laps."

"Finished 'em."

"Leo! Help, he's gone psycho!"

_No more than usual…_ Leo mused.

"Alright Raph, what's this all about? All you did was wake him up? Don't you think it's a little early to be starting in on this?"

All the leader got in response was a soft snarl, but the red masked turtle relented and stood up.

"Bah, he's jus' jealous…" Raph muttered at them both as he turned, and walked out of the dojo. Ignoring Leo's questioning gaze.

Flipping back up into an upright position, Mikey reached down to scoop up his nunchakus before giving his blue banded brother an appreciative smile. He started to leave the room, food on the forefront of his mind when a hand reached out and restrained him by the shoulder.

"Mikey, I think we need to talk about something."

Cornflower blue eyes blinked in surprise, and turned to look at dark sienna colored ones.

"Ut… don't know what you're talkin' about bro! All I got on the brain is food, food and more food with a side of milk; the liquid food!"

Shaking his head, Leo sighed. "I meant about last night, and then this morning? What's going on with you Mikey, this isn't like you."

"Aww, I'm fine. Raph just woke up on the wrong side of someone else's bed today. I think that's all."

Swallowing, the leader tilted his head as a thought occurred to him. "Is that what's bothering you? Mikey, are you upset over what's going on with those two?" He had put on his most calm, and worried brotherly voice.

Michelangelo merely shook his head and gave a wide smile, "No way dude! I think they're great! I mean, maybe Raph'll calm down a bit more if those two… uh… ya know…" He replied, nodding his head towards the kitchen.

Leo really wished he didn't, but nodded.

"Alright, if it's not that, then what's going on. I mean, ever since we found out you've been very quiet." He let go of Mikey's shoulder.

The younger turtle nodded, the smile on his face fading. He knew that Leonardo was in one of his 'determined brother moods' and wouldn't give up until he got an answer; any answer. Mikey let out a sigh; searching deep in his head, trying to find the words to use but only came up with the bluntest. Sometimes he wished he had a thesaurus brain like Donatello did on some days.

"Do a little more meditation before you choose which one of us to confide in, bro." His eyes seemed to go a shade darker with emotion. The expression on his face was still the same, however. Trying to mask what he was feeling. When he looked at the eldest it even softened a bit. "What I mean is… is…" He took a hold of Leo's arm and pulled him deeper into the dojo, into one of the darker corners.

"Hurt can run deep when one whom you love confides in you that he's totally crushing on someone else." He nodded, satisfied with how he told it.

"That he loves…" Dark eyes went wide with realization as he stared intently at his youngest brother. "Mikey, you- you…" His voice died, leaving his mouth gaping in shock.

"Why didn't you tell me?" He hissed, eyes begging for an explanation.

Mike merely shrugged, "Dude, why didn't you tell Donny?"

When he didn't receive an answer right away he nodded.

"See, and that's why. The only difference between the two of us is that you weren't sure if Don would like you or not. I _knew_ you liked someone else. I had my answer"

Leo merely held his head in his hands. "This is too complicated…"

Michelangelo chuckled, and patted his brother's shell.

"Bro, who ever said love was simple?"

----

_TBC_


	10. Vicious Circle

Chapter 8

The Vicious Circle

Brain Ninja's Ain't Got Nothing On Me.

Author's Note: _Please forgive the title, but you should understand it once you finish the chapter… I hope… As well, I am So Sorry for the lateness of my update. It's been a long couple of months, and most of you have been patient. I promise the story should start becoming more upbeat from here on out, if the muses keep this mind set going. Also, for some reason, the songs that inspired this were _30 Minutes by t.A.T.u and Underappreciated by Christina Aguilera.

And now, for the Leo-centered chapter!

Chapter takes place a few days after the last one

Over and over again it ran through his mind; _"Do a little more meditation before you choose which one of us to confide in, bro." _

He moved his left arm half circle, pulling it back towards himself as he moved the same leg as well, pulling both back after the other, before turning again. Performing the kata of the mind, body and soul. The Sanchin could always calm him, help him sort out problems.

_If Mikey felt that way, why didn't he tell me sooner? Why wait until now, when every thing is crumbling around us? _

Time had almost seemed to stand still in the Hamato household since the declarations had slowly but heartbreakingly been made to all separate members. Their master and father seemed to have no inclination as to what was happening around him, if he did he was keeping the news to himself to spare the sanity of his sons.

For now.

Leonardo groaned at what would happen if Splinter ever did find out. He was an older man, with long past ideologies about what was acceptable and normal. Despite none of them being blood related, he felt that it would not matter.

Love for one another as brothers, and team mates were one thing. To feel for one out of the others as more; as a lover would bring dissention among them with jealously. As it was … no, had been doing to them for the past year.

Pulling both arms back to his chest, crossing them, he exhaled. Training finished, he relaxed his stance eyes finally opening. He took in the warm glow of the candle lit dojo and sighed, feeling more confused and stressed than before he had begun.

He wanted to fix things, to try and make things right again, like they had been a little over two weeks ago. But even that seemed like an impossibility, everything had moved too quickly and suddenly, Leonardo found himself for once lost. No one to guide him, no words of wisdom that could be sought out from his sensei's ever comforting presence.

What could he do now that all the cards were laid out?

With a groan, Leo sank down to the futon behind him, resting atop the soft cushioned mattress suddenly having a revelation as to how the characters in his father's soap opera felt.

It wasn't like he felt nothing for his youngest brother, but he doubted the feelings went beyond that of sibling love, besides, anything he might suddenly feel for Mikey might not even be true. It could simply be what people would call a 'rebound'. Although Leo had a suspicion that in order to have or need a rebound, one had to have just gotten out of a relationship in the first place.

But then again, would the feelings be false? Had he ever really even _looked_ at his youngest brother in such a light before? The truth was he never suspected the fun-loving turtle even thought the things that he had hinted at.

Rolling his shoulders with a sigh, the blue masked turtle stood with a new resolve. He didn't know where he now stood with everything, but he decided it couldn't hurt to at least start spending some more time with Mikey. It might not be what the youngest really wanted from the oldest of the turtles, but he hoped that some extra brotherly time together would make up for it.

The search for his wayward younger brother didn't last long; all he had to do was follow the sound of echoing booms and crashes from his games. He soon spotted the boisterous turtle bouncing around on the sofa, waving the controller around madly, as if moving it to the left or right would give him the extra momentum needed to execute the right angle on the Xbox game. Beside him sat Raphael, a controller in his hands also, he wasn't moving around as spastically as Mikey, but from the looks of it, he seemed to be the winning opponent.

He leaned over the back of the worn brown leather of the sofa, watching the screen. He was pretty sure this game was called Championships or, Unreal Tournament or something like that.

"So who's winning?" He asked, looking between the two.

Raphael merely gave a smug look as his eyes left the screen for a split second to look at Mikey, who was completely absorbed with the game. For all the good it did him as some creature full of too much armour blew him to smithereens.

"Hah! That makes three times, bro! Call me when ya stop suckin'." Tossing the controller on the coffee table in front of the sofa, Raph stretched his stiff limbs before standing. He looked over to Leo.

"Hey, I'm gonna head out, maybe see if Casey wants ta hang out or somethin'."

Leo made a disapproving noise in the back of his throat, but withheld any other reproving comments.

"Just try not to come home with too much damage; we're running low on gauze currently."

"Heh, ya know my motto bro, however I look, the other guy looks three times as bad." He smirked before heading up to the elevator in their lair that led to the garage holding his motorcycle.

Shaking his head with a sigh, Leo moved over and took over Raph's seat beside the orange masked turtle. Michelangelo glanced over at Leo.

"So…are you gonna whine for the t.v now?" He pouted.

Leonardo blinked. "I don't _whine._"

"Dude you totally do when you want the television…but it's sneaky, in your own way." He gave a knowing smirk.

Chuckling, Leo shook his head, "I stand by my word. I don't whine, and no, I'm not looking to apprehend the remote from you. I remember seeing a commercial for a Dane Cook special on the comedy channel, and thought you might like to watch it."

Mikey stared at him wide eyed for a moment. "Ya mean, you'll actually watch comedy central with me?"

The leader nodded a warm smile on his face. "M'hm."

"Dude, what's the catch? Do I have to like, clean the dishes again or something?"

"What? No… I just wanted to see what you liked about him, that's all."

"Oh," He paused, taking the remote and pressing the up button to move from video channel to the comedy channel. The show was just past its opening lines.

"So, you gonna watch the whole thing with me, and not take off when it starts to bore you…are ya?"

Grabbing his brother into an affection hug, turning it into a quick little noogie, Leo laughed. "No, I'm not. I said I was going to watch the show with you, and I plan on it…now are you gonna talk all through the act? Or am I gonna have to find ways of keeping you quiet?"

Mikey couldn't help but smile widely, wondering exactly of all the ways he could enjoy being kept quiet.

TBC


End file.
